RheAnn in Japan

2PM March 12, 2011

(nearly 24 hours after the initial 8.9 mag earthquake)

Things here in Yokohama are calming.  After my last blog, I experienced two more earthquakes--MUCH smaller than the one that spurred the tsunami--and several small aftershocks.  Around 6AM, I finally managed to fall asleep and I rested for about 5 hours on and off.

Waking up, I felt dread.  I knew that daybreak would have shed light on the vastness and horror of yesterday's catastrophe and would awaken in me a sense of helplessness, not unlike what millions of people around the world must be experiencing as they watch the news.

I feel driven to assist, but unsure of how to be the most helpful.

I realized after sitting with this discomfort for several minutes that "help" is not merely something one can do in order to make themselves feel better.  Would I be a hero if I traveled to Miyagi or Fukushima or would I merely want to FEEL like a hero?

No, that is not the place for me.  That is not where I can be of use right now.  It is frustrating, but I don't yet know WHAT I can do.  I have CPR and first aid training and have done search and rescue as a volunteer in Colorado, but with weak Japanese language skills and lack of transportation, I would become more of a burden to the process than a blessing.

So like many others...I must wait.

God's timing is beyond our understanding, but I have learned (and re-learned) to trust it.  I knew by the way everything came together for me to come here to Japan that I was meant to be here for some tremendous purpose.  Perhaps this horrific tragedy is just that.

Today I will clean my house and make it ready to host a displaced family...just in case there is a family who wants to stay with me.  (I have plenty of space, plenty of futons, and plenty of nurture.)

Today I will begin to organize my mind around the possibility of a mission trip to the devastated area in the late spring or summer.  I'm sure many church members, foreign residents, and university students are hoping to assist.

Today I will pray for people I know who have been unable to contact family members and friends in the tsunami's path and for the thousands of people I DON'T know who have lost much and been deeply traumatized.

And today, I will practice a very deep kind of compassion and a very real kind of trust.  I will not feel guilty, feeling that I should be doing "more."  Instead I will stay as connected to the suffering as possible and will open and open and open myself to any possibility to directly help my neighbors in the north.  God will make the plan known to me when the time is right.

I must retain faith and hope.

There is a worldwide tapestry of love draped around Japan now.  I am part of it...and I am in it.

Amazing.

3:05 AM March 12, 2011

(just over 12 hours since Japan's 8.9 mag earthquake)

I'm still awake.


There haven't been any major aftershocks for over an hour. (There have been so many that I have decided to gauge what I call "major" by how much my ceiling light swings. If it doesn't swing too much, I am deciding not to worry about it.)


This is important because each aftershock feels exactly like the earthquakes did when they started, so my whole body goes on alert wondering, "Is it happening again?" But if it isn't "major," I'm calming down faster.


The quake:

I was teaching my class at Asahi Mission Point in Seya Ward near Tsurugamine Station.

Four of my five students were present--one after an extended absence, so we were very jovial and enjoying being together. We were actually discussing my new interactive Q&A project with supporters from the US. I have asked people to submit simple but interesting "icebreaker" type questions for my students and then I share my students' responses on my RheAnn in Japan Facebook page. Today's question was about our favorite foods, so we were actually having a conversation when the earthquake started. We were talking about American foods (KFC and McDonald's) and Japanese foods (tofu and natto.)


The classroom is located on the second floor of the church. The downstairs sanctuary area is used during the week as a daycare for elderly people. Today there were about 8 elders and about 6 staff attending.

At first, my students and I felt some swaying. We stopped talking and all felt that it would be over in a matter of seconds...but it wasn't. The swaying turned into jerking and almost bouncing. It was very rapid and very loud. Everything seemed to be rattling--the windows, the walls, the streets. One of my students grabbed her phone. Her 8 year old son was home alone. As she called him, the shaking grew even more violent and the power went out. Another student opened a window just a crack and then we all 5 dove under the small table. I was squeezing the hands of two of my students, one of whom kept saying "Daijyobu" ("Okay") over and over. I'm not sure if she was trying to comfort me or herself. Again, we thought it must be about to stop...but it didn't. This intense rocking went on for several minutes. By the end, I was in tears.

It went on so long, it seemed like there was no way we could actually be fine when it was over...but we were. After the first quake, we all ran and put on our shoes and headed downstairs. My student left to try to get home to her son. Another student got on her phone to check the news. The rest of us went in to check on the elders. "Relax!" they told us, "We're okay."

There were so many aftershocks. One was strong enough to scare us back under the table, at which point, above the trembling, I heard one student said, "Idaho burger!!" and we all laughed remembering the casual and fun conversation we'd been having only minutes before.

We could not continue our class. Stores were closed. The trains had stopped and traffic was starting to mount.

I stayed at the church with no way home for about an hour. I had tea and watched the news with the elders and updated my Facebook so that no one would be worrying too much about me.

The church was not damaged--only some minor cracks in the paint that chipped and fell in the stairway. My apartment was fine too. Things were strewn about, but not much worse than usual. (I'm a terrible housekeeper.) Really, it is a testament to Japan's dedication to earthquake preparedness. The building codes here are VERY strict and all newer buildings are built to withstand an earthquake. I'm positive an 8.9 elsewhere would have leveled several homes and buildings.

The tsunami:

The tsunami hit almost immediately. There was no time to evacuate. This causes me to be very afraid of what will be found come daybreak. Already there are reports that 300 bodies have washed up.

Fortunately for those of us in Yokohama, we are in a bay area and are not physically affected by this aspect of the catastrophe. We are all, of course, incredibly worried about what has and is happening north of us.

That I even made it home is quite the miracle. Many of my friends here are stranded in their schools or workplaces or are staying with other friends because it is impossible to get home. In fact, I received a phone call at 2AM from a friend who had just arrived BACK at his office after 5 hours in a car trying to get home. He and his coworker ultimately ended up parking the car beside the road and walking 20 minutes, so my guess is that many people are still stuck on the roads tonight.

Convenience stores that were able to reopen have rapidly sold out of food because everything else has closed and people are hungry and displaced.

Even I am lacking food right now. I brought my eco-bags with me to class today. Today my students were to have given presentations on the values of "good and evil" in Japanese culture. OBVIOUSLY, no one gave a presentation today. After class, I planned to go to the beach and watch the sunset (as part of my Lenten commitment to spend one purposeful hour in nature every day.) OBVIOUSLY that plan had to be revised! After the beach, I was going to take my bags to the store and buy some groceries! But because things had fallen and/or COULD fall (because of the aftershocks), my stores were all closed, so OBVIOUSLY I had to make do.

It has been hard to calm down. I've thought, "What can I do to relax?" The things I would normally do just won't work tonight. "Oh, I'll have some tea." ...No. It isn't safe to use my gas stove. "Oh, I'll light some candles and have a bath." ...No. Candles are a definite no-no during earthquakes, plus do I really want to be naked if I need to run out of my house? ;)

As frightened as I was and as uneasy as I am, there are some truths I must share about my experience:

1. I am lucky--truly, truly blessed. When the shaking stopped and I saw that we were fine, I said, "Thank God." I have never meant those words more than I did in that moment.

2. There are much worse conditions not all that far away from here. There must be a way that God will use me to aid those who have suffered, so I must pray for courage to find and accomplish whatever it is I'm needed to do.

3. I am loved and well cared for. The responses on Facebook are overwhelming. I know that I am enveloped by the prayers of so many friends, loved ones, and supporters. That is tremendously comforting.

Okay, it is nearly 3:30 AM and I will be of no use to anyone if I don't try to get some sleep now.

I suspect there will be aftershocks throughout the night, but hopefully nothing that causes my light to swing too much. :)

Help:

I will find out this weekend exactly what is needed and let you know.




Goodnight.

Love,

Your shaken up missionary in Japan,
RheAnn

Sisters in Japan: My sister Richelle and me during her 10 day stay :)

(5 March 2011) How is it that my sister's visit has already come and gone?  She left Japan a week ago today!  That is unbelievable to me!
We really had the most wonderful time. I feel closer to my sister now (even with thousands of miles between us) than I have in years!  ...Is that a strange thing to say? 
...Well, my ideas about and my experience of "family" have changed a lot over the past 11 months, so it stands to reason that the way I express my feelings would undergo alteration as well.
There have been times since I've been here in Japan that I've had a very real sensation of being "alone."  ...I know, of course, that I am never "alone."  This leg of my journey is, in fact, a path lined with and shaped by deep friendships, trust, care, support, prayer, guidance, encouragement, and generosity.  I know that at any given moment, it is VERY possible that someone somewhere is thinking of me or praying for me--even someone I may know very casually or not at all!  How comforting that is and has been! :) 
Still, sometimes it is overwhelming to always feel like you have to check a map or ask for help, or to look around and see absolutely no one who shares your native language or even your skin color.  (It was a privilege of my race to feel in the past that such a thing didn't matter.  I now understand the often uncomfortable position of being a "minority.")  At times, I've shared with others-- with great passion and enthusiasm-- my thoughts about the world and the future and the nature of human interaction and the depth and possibility of sharing love and faith...(and so on and so on, as you can probably imagine)...only to discover that for any combination of reasons, I am unable to connect with the people around me.
This is, of course, only an occasional occurrence.  More often than not, I enjoy the independence of life in "a foreign land."  I like dancing along the line of succeeding at something new or completely losing my way.  I am frequently reminded that there is a greater purpose for my life, and that all the stirrings in my head--plans, doubts, excuses, judgments-- are nothing more than nonsense and distractions. 
And even MORE frequently, I am in awe of the things I'm learning about myself, about life, about diversity, and about family, through my interactions with people in Japan.
Lest this blog become some over-personalized sociology report, I'll refrain from elaborating.  I honestly thought I would write an amusing soliloquy detailing all the hilarity and heartwarmth of my sister's visit, but instead the focus has shifted to the EXPERIENCE of "family."
These days I take nothing for granted when it comes to the experience of family.  I recall the occasions too numerous to count where my brother and sister and I have laughed ourselves breathless.  I think about the softness of my Grandma Pottorff's skin or the way my Grandma White pieced together words to make such sweet stories.  I remember lying limply in my mother's arms too sick to move.  I remember staying up late poking needles through bugs in the felt-lined case my dad made me for my insect collection for school.  I remember reunions and holidays...and funerals.  I remember pets and cousins and silly games.  I really can't think of anything more precious...than family.


The Baby of the Family: With my mom at my graduation in 2008


When I was 20, a man who wouldn't tell me his name, gave a mechanic $250 to fix my car that had broken down on the side of the road.  When my mom was sick once, my friend Allison ran her fingers through my hair until the sun came up and I finally fell asleep.  When I've said I was hurting, friends have reached out to heal me.  When they've been hurt, friends have said, "I need you."  To be seen, to be heard, to be loved, to be helped, to be accepted:  In these ways and SO many more, I have felt and known "family."

That's What It's All About: Doing the hokey-pokey with my sister and my students

Last week, my sister and I found ourselves head-over-heels (and heels-over-head) on the 4th dimension roller coaster known as Eejanaika.  The design of this coaster is like none I'd ever experienced, allowing complete rotations of one's whole body in conjunction with multiple drops and loops!  As we coursed toward the first big plummet, lying there on our backs staring up at the blue skies over Mt. Fuji, I said, "WHAT have we gotten ourselves into?" and I meant it!  Without missing a beat, but somehow traveling back in time to 1988, my sister replied in perfect teen-speak, "This is SO dumb," and SHE meant it!  ...And then we did a front flip and fell 50 ft.  For several seconds, I screamed to myself (Is that an oxymoron?) "I'M OKAY! I'M OKAY! I'M OKAY!" and suddenly I realized...I was!  My screams turned to cackles and celebratory CHEERS, and when I peeked over at my sister, she was grinning in voiceless delight. :)
Afterward, I summed up my experience and my love for thrill rides by saying:
"I think I like roller coasters, because...it isn't life.  The route is determined, well-designed, and well-traveled.  My fear is unfounded because I am totally safe.  And if I hate it, if I really, really HATE it, then it doesn't matter much because it will be over soon, and I will never have to do such a thing ever again!"
I can't think of another example of something so instantly gratifying. ("I was afraid but I DID this!  I CONQUERED this!")
But moments after riding this, I was given the opportunity to ride any other ride in the park I wanted to before we left, but no one wanted to ride with me.  ...I would have to ride by myself.  I decided I too was ready to go--not because I feared riding alone, but because deep down I knew the joy I felt from overcoming my anxiety and accomplishing something challenging meant nothing to me without someone with whom to share it; without FAMILY.
And isn't that true of all our trials and successes?  It means more to me to laugh with my sister than to scream from the peak of Eejanaika all alone.  It means more to me to connect with others than to move down some perceived path toward some perceived destination...without them.  I've got nowhere to go...without love.

A family of friends: Richelle's Birthday Dinner in Tokyo

By the way, yesterday one of my students told me that the roller coaster's name, "Eejanaika" translates to "Everything's alright!" which is exactly what I told myself as I was riding it! ;)
And when I miss my sister and all of my family (and "family") back home, I can remember, that on this roller coaster of life there are many loops and drops and peaks, but eejanaika!

WHO Feels Blessed? (Me, that's WHO!)

If you would like to have regular updates about my life and work in Japan and even participate in an interactive Question and Answer activity with my students, please follow my RheAnn in Japan page on Facebook! :)
If you would like to learn more about making a (much-needed) financial contribution, please contact Bob Watkins.  ...And stay tuned for news about an upcoming video project exclusively for supporters!! :)
Most of all, thank you for connecting your life with mine.

Hi! Remember me?
Goodness, how the time has gotten away from me.

I got new glasses!!!!!  (My friend "Newman" said they're Sally Jesse Raphael glasses.) lol

I've actually been working on a blog entry for nearly 2 months now, but the content of it has been a little difficult for me to process.  (When I post it, you will understand why.)  Just tonight, though, I've decided maybe it isn't necessary to make everything that happens in [my] life fit into a succinct and easily-read format with a beginning, middle, and end and laced with artsy photos and metaphor.  Sometimes life just IS, and I should give myself permission to just BE.

I promise to provide you all with a THOROUGH update very, very soon.  In the meantime, please feel free to "like" my RheAnn in Japan Facebook page which I update regularly with "mini-blogs" and information. :)

I would also like to request that you add me to any e-mail lists or blogs YOU may have!  This could be your church newsletter, something creative, something personal...ANYTHING!  Just as you like to know what's going on with me, I am interested in knowing what is going on with you! :)  My e-mail address is rheann.in.japan@gmail.com .

At the new year, I made a resolution to write a blog every 2 weeks.  I planned to write a blog about how I planned to blog. ;)  I even got an app for my iPhone (Momento, I highly recommend it) that I thought would simplify this process by allowing me to collect notes, photos, and highlights of my life in Japan in one place, so that I could sift through them--every 2 weeks--and include them in a blog entry.  Needless to say... This is not at all what happened!!  Haha!  I am writing in my "iJournal" regularly, but failing to finish the sequence by posting here.  (Sorry!!)  I really think it has to do with feeling "blocked" by the important topic I mentioned before.  Things are going to change, I can FEEL it! ;)

Innnnn the mean time, allow me to share with you a few gems from my iJournal from the past several weeks.  Ok?

December 11, 2010 (Saturday)
"Wow!! What a rush to perform for 50 kids!!! That was AWESOME!!  The busiest weekend of the year is off to a GREAT start!!" (I performed the Japanese children's story "Urashima Taro" at the Christmas party at Kibogaoka Church.  I hope to make storytelling a part of my ongoing ministry.)




This life-sized sea turtle (made for me by the artist Seiji Yonehara) was featured in my telling of "Urashima Taro," the story of a young man who loves the sea and is kind to animals...


December 12, 2010 (Sunday)
"Finished the Advent craft workshop!!  It was AWESOME (but I'm officially EXHAUSTED.) ;)" (With materials donated by some generous folks back in the US --whom I cannot thank enough--I was able to lead a workshop for all ages!  We were expecting 6 people the morning of the event and hosted 18 instead!!  We made advent wreaths, spicy orange and whole walnut decorations, bird feeder ornaments, and Christmas cards at Ichikawa's first ever "Make your Christmas Red and GREEN" event.  Three children from the neighborhood have been coming back to the church each week!) :)

Everyone poses with the "peace sign" in Japan.  ...I added my own "flair." ;) (This was at the green Advent workshop. This is Yusuke who helped me set up.)

December 17, 2010 (Friday)
"After stopping by the sale at the natural market and making deviled eggs, I went to Asahi for my class.  The SURPRISED me.  Instead of their assigned topics, they did Christmas presentations based on gifts they got for me!!!"  (The class at Asahi is "Japanese Culture in English," and the women do presentations on various topics every two weeks.  This was very touching!)

I got presents!!!! (These are from my sister. Each individually wrapped item had a sweet little note attached to it!) :)

December 19, 2010 ("Christmas Sunday")
"I'm at church.  Boutta give my speech!!!  I'd hoped to be hit by a car and not have to do this!! ;)"  (I've never really had a whole CONVERSATION in Japanese, yet on this day, I gave a speech--my testimony--in Japanese before the entire congregation at Sagamino Church!!!  Five of my ten Sagamino students were present that day.  I did it for them.)

Here's to the ladies who lunch! ;) (This was the Christmas lunch at Sagamino...AFTER my speech!)

Mistletoe!!  (I spent Christmas with a church member's family in Tokyo.)

January 2, 2011 (Sunday)
"Winter vacation (so far) = tour of Buddhist temples, gazing at turtles, eating over-priced tofu, and staying at Akira Kurosawa's favorite ryokan.  I love Kyoto!" (My friends and I took a 2 night, 3 day vacation to the Kyoto area.  It was the best vacation of my adult life.  ....I am not exaggerating.)

The Site of Reversible Destiny:  This is an amazing art experience near Ogaki city. If you ever have a chance to go here, I hope you will. It changed my life!!

January 9, 2011 (Sunday)
"Saw a blind guy walk into a post at Ebina station.  It awakened worry and humor in me all at once.
Mostly humor.  ....(Thanks, Grandma.)"  (I am one of those people who involuntarily laughs when someone gets hurt BEFORE checking on him or her.  I know this is off-putting to some, but it's a characteristic I actually embrace.  My mother does this sometimes, and her mother ALWAYS did this.  ...Mom says this trait goes back for generations!!  Ha!!) :)

January 11, 2011 (Tuesday)
"My students fought to sit beside me today.  (Maybe I loved that...just a little.) ;)"  (At our first class of the new year, the kids in my class at Ebina Church wanted to sit beside me during the "Squeeze Game"--a simple vocabulary review we do at the end of most classes.  Each person in the circle says a word they learned that day then says, "Squeeze!" and squeezes the hand of the person next to them to indicate their turn.  ...This is loosely based on "the circle prayers" I love so much.) :)

This is a puppy that one of the children is working on. We are making relief sculptures!

January 28, 2011 (Friday)
"Just ran into a big group of boys who attended my performance last month and they got sooo excited to see me.  They practiced speaking to me in English.  One boy asked, 'How are youuuuuuu?!' I said, 'Onaka suita (I'm hungry.)' This was apparently hilarious. ;)"  (I so rarely speak in Japanese because I'm really not very good at it! But any time I say even the simplest thing, I get HUGE reactions...like the time I answered "Hai" when my name was called at the Presbytery meeting.  Everyone found that one little word so adorable.  Hahaha!) :)

February 3, 2011 (Thursday)
"Sometimes something happens (something small) and my day is transformed into 'the best day of my life.'
But if someone asked me, 'What was the best day of your life?' I'd likely neglect to tell them about having 2 delicious enchiladas and margaritas for the first time in a year.  ...Nevertheless, today was awesome.
...PLUS, this morning when I passed the elementary school, I smelled rolls--the school cafeteria kind, with all the extra flour on top; the kind I loved to dig the soft center out of with my finger..."  (It's the little things.)




My student Shoko knitted this beautiful scarf for me after I showed her a photo of the beautiful scarf that was stolen last year in Memphis!!  How cool is she??


February 10, 2011 (Thursday)
"Just watched a lady in an apron step out of the back door of a coffee house and scatter food scraps to a flock of waiting pigeons, then saw another woman give a homemade rice ball to a homeless man by the station only moments later.  These are not things I often see in Japan, and I feel BLESSED to have been a witness."

We got our first real snow here this week.  This was along the river between Asahi Church and Tsurugamine Station.

And that pretty much brings us up to date.
I'm currently trying to get my house ready for something really, really special.
...MY SISTER'S COMING FROM THE U.S.!!!!  I can't wait for her visit!!  I miss her so, so much!

I think we will have a lot of fun!  ...Plus I'm hosting "Flat Katie" during that time for my old youth leader's niece, so the *three* of will be taking many, many photos!!  Yay!!

Now.
I have publicly announced my New Year's resolution to blog every 2 weeks...and...I'm gonna go ahead and say it started on the Chinese New Year, February 3, so...I'm right on track!! ;)

One final note:  If you pledged to support my work here in Japan, THANK YOU!  I hope you're doing a better job of managing your commitment than I have done with my blogging. ;)  If you aren't yet a supporter but would like to be, let me know!!  There is info on the right-hand side of this website.  (You will find a link to my "RheAnn in Japan" Facebook page here as well.)  I appreciate --and NEED--all of your prayers and gifts.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Christmas Past

This is my 30th Christmas.  It is the first I've spent away from my family (except for 1992 when I had the flu and Dad and I stayed in Millington, Tennessee, watching a "Saved by the Bell" marathon and, of course, It's a Wonderful Life--back when they played it on every channel--while the rest of our kin gathered in Illinois.)
Being on a completely different continent is more limiting than simply being sick (even though it seemed like the end of the WORLD when I was 12!) ;)  Still, it's Christmas...whether my family and I are together or not, and that is a wonderful point on which to reflect.
It appears that folks back home or enjoying, dreading, or tolerating all kinds of wintry weather, while here in Japan, I often go without a coat!  ...Granted, I could wear a coat, but I'm a bit stubborn.  I hate to feel hot on the heated, crowded trains, so sometimes I refuse to wear or tote a coat.  Later, I may wish I had the coat as I shuffle home at night, but I try to stand by my decision. ;)  It really has become a daily choice of: "Do I want to be uncomfortable now or later?"  ...I'll probably wear a coat today.  It's in the low 50's, but it's humid here, so it feels a bit colder.  Christmas time has always meant snow and gloves and hot apple cider.  (Note: "Cider" in Japan means "soda" or "carbonation."  Interesting, no?)  So...even the weather is different than I'm used to.
And...usually around Christmas, all the loose ends of school and work have been tied, and I get to focus on finding and wrapping the PERFECT gifts for my loved ones--something I enjoy more than I care to say. :)  This year, I am busier now than I have been since I arrived here over eight months ago!  My head is spinning and I hardly have time to sleep, let alone shop!  Oh, and shopping is not fun to me here.  It's overwhelming.  I don't really know where to go to find what I need, what shops sell what kinds of things, or even where to get supplies to MAKE gifts.  In the past, I've often found the best gifts just by wandering through a store, but here...I don't even know where to commence a meandering!  [Aside: My friend Seiji mapped out an afternoon of shopping for me last week and we visited several antique stores that he knew.  That was perhaps one of the most helpful things anyone has ever done for me.  (He also carried all my bags because the stores are SO small...and I am so clumsy!)] :)
And...once I've found the gifts, I have to keep my fingers crossed that they weigh less than 16 oz.  The US recently altered their policies and are not accepting packages from Japan (and elsewhere?) that exceed that weight.  So, then I've got to deal with logistics...which is SO not as much fun as making my own wrapping paper and heartfelt cards.  So...even the gift-giving feels different.
For the first time, I don't have a Christmas tree...or even lights.  Any who know me know that in the past, I've rocked some pretty good trees. :)  Instead, I have a lot of mess left from all the projects I'm working on strewn throughout my apartment.  Yes...this too is different.

18 People attended the "Make Your Christmas Red & GREEN!" event at Ichikawa's new church.  (Supplies were donated from some of the most generous CP's I know.  Thanks, y'all!)

The projects are great and the work is so, SO meaningful.  (More on that later!) :) And when I really allow myself to, I can remember what Christmas is really about in a way that I've never before experienced.
Recently, my life intertwined with that of a remarkable young woman.  Her marriage is in turmoil and she is feeling alone and uncertain of what to do in order to ensure safety, health, and happiness for her and her baby daughter.  I'm not sure I've ever met a more gracious and forgiving person.  Certainly, I find inspiration in her strength...even more than I feel drawn to help and support her.  She's become a symbol of my "new" Christmas, in fact.  She is following the light of a star and shining just as brightly in a very dark time.  Instead of speaking ill of her husband, she asks, "Why has God given me such a husband and what am I to learn and understand from this?"  I do not know the answer to her question, but from HER, I have learned so much about compassion and accountability...and FAITH.  She, like Mary riding into Bethlehem, moves through the fear, disappointment, and discomfort of her life, trusting that she and her baby will be cared for, protected, and delivered to a life of peace and harmony.
If I could package those things, I would give them to her...with a handmade bow.
I would give them to all of us.
Even amidst our blessings and even during this season of celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and all the traditions this time brings, many of us are hurting somehow. 
I'm faraway from Christmas-as-I've-always-known-it, but I'm discovering Christmas-as-it's-meant-to-be!  No box under any tree is as great a gift as the love, forgiveness, compassion, and peace of Jesus.  May we offer that to one another this Christmas...and always.

My students at Ebina, after an action-packed class. Each week they remind me of the good in me and the good in the WORLD.

(I'm so sorry!  I began writing this on 10/28/2010 and am finishing it now 12/2/2010!)

I sat for a few hours last night, staring at this screen trying to write something...because it felt like time.  Even though I have a lot going on, nothing seemed to jump from my brain to my fingers, from my fingers to the keys.  So... What changed between then and now?  Only everything.  Only nothing at all.
I've been thinking lately of trying my hand at writing (and illustrating?) children's books.  I already have two stories in mind.  I'm thinking they share a main character, so maybe they become a series...like Amelia Bedelia, only more compassionate.  I imagine her to be a young woman living in Japan, and she'll have all of my quirky qualities (humble solitary living, vegetarianism, outspokenness, love of animals and art and storytelling, and various eccentricities), only she'll be Japanese!  In one story she'll proclaim her intention to never kill another living thing--no matter how big or small-- and will subsequently encounter all kinds of critters (slugs, roaches, spiders, lizards, gnats, bees, moths, snakes, toads, and mice) who mysteriously make their way into her home and force her to put her theory to the test.  I suspect she'll face her fears and cultivate a new kind of caring.  In the other story, she will befriend the neighborhood gang of stray cats.  Signs are posted all through town, urging people not to feed the cats, but our protagonist will pay no mind.  Though she's rather poor, she will share what little she has with her furry friends, and in return they will find ways to enrich her life: Collecting seeds in their fur then bathing in her yard and "planting" a surprise garden, bringing her ribbons and scraps for her to use in her artwork, and things like that...While simultaneously wreaking havoc in the life of the curmudgeon down the street, of course.  ;)
Yes, these are the things I think about when I'm walking around Japan.  Homesickness has had its way with me a time or two and I feel really different sometimes; really alone.  But the impact of this loneliness is not bad at all.  I'm inspired by it!  It deepens my understanding of others who feel misunderstood or as an outsider somehow.
When I really relax into my life here and remember that I was LED here; when I stop worrying about fitting in or feeling scrutinized, I find things tend to flow with great ease, and work out just as they should.
For example (and this is just one of MANY! ...I wish I'd been writing these down!), on Tuesday I was so excited to teach my children's class at Ebina.  The 3rd of 3 classes each month is always an art class and in preparation for Halloween and to coincide with their recent study of English names for body parts and clothing, I planned to oversee the construction of a life-sized SCARECROW!  My partner/friend Saida assumed responsibility for obtaining men's clothing for this project and I set about collecting all the other supplies.  When Tuesday rolled around, I had everything we needed...except stuffing.  I'd asked around and hunted, but hadn't been able to locate any hay or assemble enough old paper for this task!  After my Japanese language class, I was FRANTIC to find some kind of stuffing before my class started 3 hours later.  No luck, so I got on the train toward the church--racing through the neighborhood in my mind; mapping out where I would look and shops I would visit along the way.  Between the station and the church, I scanned alley ways and trash bins and stopped by a market and asked a butcher for old paper. (I explained my situation by acting things out and sputtering broken Japanese, "kakashi"..."kami"..."naka"..."doko"..."desu-ka?") Haha! ...He took me to the toilet paper aisle. ;)
I hurried out of the market, and that's when I did something I seldom if ever do...I tossed out an, "I need some help here, God" prayer.  "Do your thing," I plead with a chuckle.  Rounding the corner, with only a minute's more of walking to the church, I saw a delivery truck.  The driver was standing behind it and the back panel was open.  The man moved one of the green plastic crates, checked something in his notebook, then removed a wad of old newspaper and set it aside.  "Are you serious?" I said softly but aloud.  I approached the man and repeated my baby-talk and charades routine from the market.  At first he handed me a thin stack of advertisements for his company--which appeared to be delivering some type of locally produced food item.  His smile was so big that I almost issued an obligatory "Arigatou gozaimasu," and shuffled off with this useless stack of fliers, but I had seen some paper here and I had prayed to find some, so should I really give up my quest because of language limitations?  No!  I decided to give it one last shot, even though it was exactly 4:00, time to begin the class.  Suddenly, light bulbs!  "Ah, sousousousou..." he said, and passed me a HUGE pile of old newspaper.  I thanked him rapidly and emphatically and hurried to my class with the treasure!
My students and I enjoyed making the scarecrow (whom they later named by adding a syllable from each of their own names.) I was able to teach them verbs like "roll," "squeeze," "crunch," and "push" in addition to reviewing body parts and clothes.  It was really fun!

Masamotayu the Scarecrow

And just as with the scarecrow guts, I'm finding that most things happen in their own perfect time.  It's important to notice that...and to try to allow for it, instead of trying so hard to have everything go by some rigid, arbitrary, convenient plan.
I mean, would it have been easier and more preferable that Jason Baldwin, my best friend in the world, had not been wrongfully convicted and forced to spend the last 17 years in prison for a crime he did not commit??  SURE!  But that actually happened, and along the way--despite these unthinkable circumstances--this amazing young man has grown and changed and learned...and in turn, has helped and inspired and taught a LOT of people, myself included!!!  In fact, it would be hard to think of someone outside my family who has influenced my life more than he.  I can concede that a life of freedom would have been desirable.  He certainly deserved that.  However, I am reluctant to say I wish that had happened.  I would not want to take away from the strength of this man (and the two convicted alongside him) or the impact his life has had on so many who may not otherwise have known him.  But I also don't intend to downplay my JOY that the Arkansas Supreme Court has ruled that my loving and courageous friend will soon receive a new hearing and ultimately (I believe) a new trial!!! Justice is waiting like a delivery truck full of old paper and shining like a Christmas tree star.
Imagine having a prayer for 17 years----WELL over half my life----and awaking one day to see it being answered at last!!  Wow!?!!  My family and I, as I'm sure Jason and his family and the families and supporters of the other two innocent men, are beside ourselves with joy! :)  I almost don't even know what to do with this much joy! :)  There is this hasty, nagging feeling that tags along with this good news: "I'm ready for it to happen NOW!" but I soothe and abate that by remembering God has a way of unfolding our stories in ways that are deeper, more meaningful, and more gratifying than our tiny, impatient brains could ever imagine.
I can wait, joyfully.

My best friend Jason: Our love has traipsed a rugged terrain, and only God knows where we'll go from here :)

Thanksgiving, 2010
Creator God, we offer you our prayer of Thanksgiving—here and now. We pause amidst the mundane and the unusual in each of our lives to recognize our interconnectedness.


God, we know everything changes--sometimes so slowly, we hardly notice it or have grown used to it like the tide; sometimes suddenly, violently and other times after great planning. We are grateful to still be amazed by autumn leaves and sunsets, even though sometimes we get so busy, we don’t take the time to see.

But for the times we feel the power of uncertainty or the pull of something yet to be, we give thanks—thanks that we may follow and respond; thanks that we can feel the sorrow and enthusiasm of leaving something behind, losing something we treasure, or leaping toward the next time and place with wonder and gratitude.

And for the places we land and the homes we make and the love we feel, we give thanks—thanks that each day gives us the opportunity to discover new and ancient ways of expressing tenderness and compassion; thanks that there is comfort in the smallest of smiles and the warmest of blankets; thanks that “alone” doesn’t always have to feel bad.

And for truth’s inexhaustible capacity to become known in time, we give thanks—thanks that there is always something to hope for; thanks that nothing can remain hidden forever; thanks that our hearts and minds can be opened and reopened; thanks that authentic dialogue can occur even without shared language; thanks that knowledge and healing are possible.

Thank you for all we learn and know and remember and forget. Thank you for illuminating our similarities and our differences. Thank you for giving us courage to be as we believe.

May we be guided toward balanced living and never judge the extent to which we are blessed by that to which others suffer.

Surround the people of Earth that, even if for but one shared breath, we all know peace.

Use us to make the changes that will ensure peace. With thanksgiving, we lovingly place ourselves at your will—here and now.

Always.

Amen.

Thanksgiving away from "home"...

There's just something about orange juice! Mmmm... When you haven't had it in a very long time, suddenly orange juice is amazing! It overwhelms your mouth with sour and sweet and texture and consistency. You FEEL and taste orange juice. And when it's freshly squeezed? Forget about it! You practically have to CHEW the juice. It's so tasty, and you think, "How have I forgotten how much I LOVE orange juice??" ...So maybe you buy some to keep in your fridge at home. Now you can have it whenever you want. (The OJ glasses in restaurants are always so small, anyways. You can drink as much of the stuff as you want at your house.) ...But drinking orange juice every day...you aren't as amazed by it. Now it's just part of the meal; part of your day; hohum...yawn. And if you drink too much, well, you're in for a tummy ache on account of all that citric acid. Then if the OJ gives you a tummy ache, suddenly you don't like it as much anymore, so you don't buy another carton for a while, and you certainly don't order an overpriced, undersized glass of it at brunch! Weeks and even months go by, and then one day you revisit your old friend orange juice and ah! It comes alive on your tongue and you feel like you've been depriving yourself of something so simple; so GOOD!!
(Yes. There's a metaphor coming.)
Last week I got a taste of something I didn't pour. The universe handed me a very unexpected dose of tears, hurt, and confusion, through the sudden death of my close friend, Gwen Ramat, who (like me) was only 30 years old. She, a wise and witty woman, collided with a semi-truck when she lost control of her vehicle while texting behind the wheel. Many things happened within me as I strove to respond to this loss. I walked around like the Ghost of RheAnn for a few days. There was the very real sense of being invisible even in a crowd, so I embraced that and cried in public if I needed to. I worried about my friends back home and wished I could be with them during this difficult time. I berated myself for getting too busy and not keeping in good touch with Gwen, despite having thought of her each day for three days leading up to her accident. Outside it just kept raining and I wondered at the cinematic coincidence of weather perfectly suited to my heartbreak.
But something else was going on too. I couldn't name it. I was having some anxiety...beyond the wanting to be near my friends to grieve and beyond the realization that people I love will die while I am so far away... Impermanence. That's what it came down to. At the core of all my crying, was the reality of impermance. To deal with my grief and begin to move forward, I had to acknowledge its pain and beauty. Friends and pets and family members and heroes and celebrities and strangers and neighbors all die. I will die. Once I'd swept my brain around this idea, I felt comforted. (I hope I can explain why.) Here's what I did. ...I wrote a letter to my family outlining my thoughts about my own life and death. Some may think this very morbid. Others may think it very irresponsible that I didn't do this sooner--coming overseas all alone, after all. Regardless, it seemed important, and after I'd written it, I felt the sunshine returning inside me!
I won't chirp on and on and pretend that death is great, but I do wholeheartedly feel that death is beautiful somehow...maybe because it's inevitable?...Maybe because GRIEF can be so powerful in the way it connects us at the deepest levels?  I don't know.  I only know that worrying about it feels awful.  I only know that wishing it didn't happen is fruitless.  I only know that accepting it was the only thing that helped me to make sense of Gwen's sudden and tragic death and the emotional aftermath it triggered.
There are a thousand and 2 cliches about life and death and about not letting a single second go to waste.  Sometimes these seem trite or even meaningless.  ...Who really likes to be reminded to "get your ducks in a row" or "live like you're dying"??  But...I think there ARE so many platitudes related to life and death and embracing life (and death) because this is something we humans learn and forget time and time again.  We are confronted with loss or our own mortality and we spend days, weeks, or months rearranging our hearts and minds around the experience...only to somehow settle back in and "forget" what we learned.  There are so many cliches because the cliches and the lessons they represent are real and widely-experienced.  To pretend it doesn't or won't happen is not merely to deny death, I think, but also to deny those who HAVE died and to deny a part of life that can actually bring depth to our relationships and expansiveness to our experiences.
How many times have we caught ourselves in the throes of grief, wishing we'd said or done something differently?  And why didn't we?  And why DON'T we?
I think we are afraid.  (Afraid of...::fill in the blank:: ...as long as the blank ends up synonymous with "being uncomfortable.")

MLK, Jr. weekend '08: Gwen, Katrina, &  I got up before the sun to go SNOWBOARDING!

The week that began with Gwen's death, ended with the fourteenth anniversary of my father's death.  I have very vivid memories of his last days, but--sadly--so few others from my 16 years with him.  Adult-Me has so many questions for him, though...  Each year, I try in some unique way to honor him on October 1st; to feel close to him, if I can.  This year, my friend Tii joined me and we cooked a DELICIOUS meal--"breakfast for dinner," one of my dad's favorites. :)  I didn't cry or feel I needed to cry, but I did feel pain.  I felt pain for myself and what I lost that night 14 years ago...and I felt pain for all of us who just lost our close friend Gwen a few DAYS ago!  It hurt all over, but to laugh and eat with someone I love, felt like "wholeness" in the face of utter brokenness.

Breakfast for Dinner: Gluten-free coconut milk pancakes, lemon-garlic peppers with walnuts, egg-tomato-tamari scramble, sweet potato hash browns with wasabi mustard, tangy cinnamon fruit salad, and orange-pineapple mimosas!!!

Maybe this isn't how "Christians" are "supposed" to talk about things or THINK about things according to whoever determines that.  Ha!  I don't know!  I only know that, for me, the idea of an "after life" is not very comforting when I'm in pain from LOSS.  Maybe I'm selfish that way.  I guess that's why the real comfort for me comes from    just    letting    go.  Wanting my daddy back IS selfish.  His life here was not easy, at all.  To rest from that is a BLESSING!  And Gwen too!  My God, how she struggled!!  Who am I to want my friend to go on living with such suffering just so I can hear her laughter in times of joy?  I have to let go.
And I have to let go of plans that I make for my own life too.  I can't guarantee my future.  I can have hopes and dreams that I hold onto loosely as I move through the here and now---reaching out to others and letting others love me...here...now.  But to resist change or to be blinded to those around me because of focus on my own path, won't work for me anymore (if it ever did.)
I want to drink in every day like a fresh squeezed glass of orange juice, letting the newness tingle my tastebuds and shine in a way that lets darkness stay dark, but makes the lightness brighter.  I want to appreciate every smile and every tear.

JOY! One of my volunteers during Storytelling at Kibogaoka. (I love his smile.)

This song says exactly what I want to say.  I hope you will be as inspired by it as I am. (I'm sorry for the video.  I couldn't find this song ANYWHERE else!  ...Just listen to the words.)

(midnight-ish) September 24, 2010--
Tonight it's raining.  It's rained all day, actually.  The air is so cool and the city seems like a sleepy baby--past the point of fussy, nodding off toward peaceful slumber.

The full moon at dusk a couple nights ago

 
Today marked the first day of fall.  I wonder if there was ever a woman happier to welcome the end of summer as I am.  I am.  I sooooooooooooo am!  The black hole that was August seems far behind me now and I am happily moving through my days--in good health and with great enthusiasm.  I really have so much to which to look forward and I currently have so many wonderful things going on!!  I hardly know where to start!! ...But I also can't wait to pile all of my happy thoughts into one place, so here goes!! :)

GOOD NEWS: 

• I love my tutor!!!  I've been meeting once a week for two weeks now with a language helper/tutor.  Her home is not near mine, but the train rides are pleasant and the assistance is certainly worth it.  I see so many butterflies in the neighborhood as I walk from the station to her house and back.  Last week, three different types brushed against my arms during my journey.  ...It's a special time and place, I feel.  I also notice that the timing and pace of my lessons are really perfect.  I'm free from the stress I felt from getting so far behind in language school, AND we are focusing on bits of Japanese language that are most useful for ME, rather than merely abiding by a prescribed curriculum.  It's very good for me.  :)
• I love teaching!!!  Now that I'm not in school each morning, I have so much more time and energy to think about and prepare formy classes!  I am amazed how much more I enjoy my job when it doesn't come on the heels of a mentally exhaustive morning of language-learning.  I am really discovering my own style as a teacher, and I like what I'm seeing so far.  My students are incredible!  I love the questions they ask and the things they teach me!!

During my Friday "Japanese Culture in English" class, one student demonstrated the tea-making and -drinking portion of the traditional tea ceremony! :)

• I love my friends!!!  I knew I needed some, and I've been making many since arriving here. Visiting churches, I met so many great people.  The physical distance between us and the busy-ness of our schedules made socializing difficult, though.  Being alone for so many daaaaaaaaaaaaays in August, I suddenly realized that I need friends outside of "work."  Once I accepted this, it seems really good friends just APPEARED in my life.  I attended a very special New Year's party with some friends from Ethiopia and met many new friends there, and have used each Saturday since to relax and enjoy time with them.  ...I think this was key to making Japan my home. I really needed these friends. :)

With the Ethiopian ambassador and friends at the Ethiopian New Year Party in Akasaka

With my new girl-friend Tii at an international picnic with another friend Hideki (not pictured)

• I love art!!!  In addition to my ongoing pottery studies, (I return to Kunitachi for class tomorrow!) I've also begun to incorporate my love of art into other areas of my life and work.  I am flooded with ideas for a new photo project with a photographer friend of mine and just need to make time for a painting I'm working on for my home.  I also want to buy a video camera and start making mini-movies to share with all of my family and supporters back in the States.  I've already been using SOME art in teaching, since I make all my own handouts and visual aids and often have to teach through "Pictionary" when verbal language comprehension fails.  I also taught an art class to children one day while I was still sick. We made "sculptures."  It went very well and that's something I'm sure I'll do again some time.  My NEW idea, though, is to host an Open House/Craft Workshop at one of our churches here.  Ichikawa will move into a new church building in December, and it is my hope that we can invite people from the neighorhood to learn how to make Christmas decorations for their homes!  (Many people enjoy decorating for this holiday, even though they don't celebrate it in a Christian context.)  I want to teach them how to make wreaths and ornaments...but I don't really know how!! :)  So, send me some ideas, won't you?  My e-mail is rheann.in.japan@gmail.com  I think this will be FUN!  (Some CPWM groups mentioned they'd like to help by sending patterns and supplies for a project like this.  If you or your group would like to contribute, please contact me with your ideas before sending things, so I don't end up with too much of one thing and not enough of another...You know, small apartment and all.) :)
• I love storytelling!!!  As long as I can remember, I've loved telling (and even REtelling) stories of all kinds--stories I've heard, stories I've read, stories I've lived... I use this gift in teaching ALL the time--both as a means of explaining something and as an exercise in improving listening skills.  While I was sick, another of my bright ideas was to start a children's story time by familiarizing myself with the most popular children's stories in Japan and performing them in English at one or more of our churches.  I was beyond excited about this possibility but was quickly sobered when I presented it to the church leader and found it to be a hard sell. ..Turns out, there was a misunderstanding because there is not such a thing as "story time" in Japan. Finally, the group of adults said, "Can you just SHOW us what you mean?" so--on the spot--I decided to go with "The 3 Little Pigs."  I used a lot of voices and faces and looked at each person as I spoke.  They turned into little kids right before my eyes!!
  

  Kids and "big kids" play a silly game during open church at Den-en last week

  It was hilarious!  “Oh, NOW we understand!  We Japanese don’t do like that,” they told me and laughed.  Then they became as excited as I had been and we began to make plans.  The maiden Story Time will take place the first weekend in December.  Between now and then, I’ll be meeting with the children at Kibogaoka Church during church school and using songs and/or storytelling to correspond with their lessons.  I will also be learning about the stories and practicing them constantly.  If this event is a success, I hope to travel with this “act” a little bit.
• 
  
  I love dinner parties!!! Last night I accepted an invitation to a birthday dinner at a church member’s house.  There were 10 of us in attendance, and four had birthdays this month!  Two of the guests were Americans who live and work on the Zama military base—he as a chaplain and she as a teacher.  The food was deliciously tailored to my dietary needs which made me happier than words can express, and the conversation spanned more fascinating topics than I can name!!  I can assure you, however, it is a night I will never forget!  We talked about history and politics and religion and traveling…and then I began telling the group about the upcoming Story Time.  I mentioned that I told the story of “The 3 Little Pigs” since it is one I know well and had been using with my English classes here.  I said to the 2 Americans, “Sometimes there are words you just can’t explain when asked, you know?  Like, WHY do the little pigs say ‘Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin?’ What does that phrase even MEAN?”  By this point, 2 Japanese men at the table were laughing themselves to tears.  After much coaxing they finally revealed to us the cause of their laughter.  Apparently… “chin chin” in Japanese crudely refers to a certain part of the male anatomy!!!  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah, you KNOW my face was as red as my shirt as I recalled how enthusiastically I’d been announcing this statement to Japanese women and children and church leaders over the past weeks!!!  ::BLUSH::  Anyway, it was a delightful evening, nonetheless!  I hope to have my own dinner party here next weekend, as it will be 14 years since my dad died this October 1^st.  Also, October 1^st here is September 30^th back home, and on that day my best friend in the whole world, Jason Baldwin, has a glimmer of hope for freedom after 17 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.  I look forward to telling THAT story some day…  And I pray for a happy ending.

Pausing to reflect: One of my early solo wanderings in Japan

September 7, 2010—Tomorrow will mark five months that I’ve been in Japan!!!! Is it odd to say that even with all the illness and confusion that this time has really flown by?? …Because it really has! It is strange to think that it was five months ago that I stood in a triangular and tear-soaked hug with my mom and sister in the St. Louis airport feeling absolutely unready to be where I am now.

Triangle of Love: My sister, me, and my mom at my commissioning service at Brenthaven (My good friend gave me her kimono, but no one knew how to tie the obi and it kept falling off! HaHA!)

Two Girls On the Open Road...with Lollipops!: Zoe and I drove all night and laughed the whole way (even in Kansas.) ;)

And I spent five AMAZING weeks in a training program for missionaries, that provided me not only with top-notch language learning and cultural adaptation skills, but also with friends in my field who are now missionaries ALL OVER THE WORLD! It’s a beautiful and meaningful network!

"The Family": We share a very sacred bond...

The MTI GIRLS:  These beautiful ladies and I spent two weeks together learning how to learn...and loving every minute!

I also had time over the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays to be with my family and friends to celebrate these occasions together for the last time for at least three years.

Home for the Holidays: With my Uncle Andy at New Year's

An on-again-off-again-turned-long-distance relationship of over two years ended unexpectedly in December and blossomed into one of my healthiest and most valuable friendships AND completely freed me to bring my whole self to my life and work in Japan! (VERY synchronistic!) :)

Yesterdays and Used-to-be's: Back in snowy Boulder, back in the day, with my dear friend Michael

I spent the early part of this year travelling around my country seeing familiar faces and places, but also meeting new people and going places I’d never been. In more ways than one, this was a VITAL part of my journey. I simultaneously managed to have meaningful goodbyes with my loved ones AND to intertwine myself into a community of faith.

Small Town Girl: Morgan was in The Youth ROCKS! youth group of which I was the leader for 4 years. Now she's a student at Bethel University!

Hometown Girls: Ethiopian dinner with some of my best friends from high school-- Karen, Jamie, and Bryan (not pictured)

New Girls: I visited Milan CP Church and met these amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing youth! (We're connected for life.) :)

Heart Hug: This is my dad's younger brother and my beloved uncle, Dan, at my early birthday/going-away celebration!

And in arriving here five months ago, I adjusted quite naturally to being led from place to place and introduced to hundreds of people. :) It has been difficult at times—studying the language, finding allergy-friendly VEGETARIAN foods, picking up on and understanding cultural differences, finding the right doctors, establishing routines and relationships, and being far away from my mom, my siblings, my friends, and my niece and nephews (!!!)—but overall, I just like my life. …Yeah. I really do! :)

The Boys Who Have My Heart: My bestestest friend Cliff with my sooooooooooo cute nephews--Karson and Creson

Bumpers!: We may not be the best bowlers, but we're the best of friends! :) (My niece Abbi and I had an entire day of fun together.)

Tonight as I was walking home after teaching my children’s English class at Ebina Zion Hill Church and eating dinner alone at Big Boy in Seya… (Yes. You read that right: Big Boy. They have a lovely salad bar!) :)…I started thinking about just that—my life…and why I like it so much. …Here’s my theory. If I had studied education in school, I’m not sure I would enjoy teaching as much as I do now. …It’s just my personality, really. I love teaching, because I’m discovering HOW to do it and that I’m GOOD at doing it AS I do it!! Haha!! It’s true! I’m drawing upon some unknown arsenal of tools, techniques, information, energy, and ability! I don’t have notes or handouts! I don’t have pre-made lessons! I’m just doing this!! It’s part acting and part improvisation, teaching…for ME anyway. I find what the needs are and look within to find a way to meet those needs. Each class and each student is so different, so I have to manifest a means of teaching them all, in the way(s) they learn best. Sometimes it doesn’t work, and I can FEEL it…so I come at it from a different way until we find the right path. It’s fun and exciting! It feels AMAZING when it “works” and the students begin to understand. I really, really enjoy it! (I really think that if someone taught me how to teach, I’d get lost in the “right” and “wrong” of it, and miss out on this amazing voyage of discovery!)

With mostly everything I do, I find I like it more when I approach it from a place of curiosity or uncertainty. I like the newness of things. If I understood Japanese better, I probably wouldn’t enjoy learning pottery as much. If I thought I could get by just speaking English, I probably wouldn’t like studying Japanese. If I didn’t make up games to entice myself up the big hills of my neighborhood, I’d probably trudge along and meet each hill with dread. If I didn’t move my furniture around in my apartment, I’d probably start to feel too settled. If I was afraid of not being accepted or not being able to communicate, I probably wouldn’t be having so much FUN making friends!

Ready, Aim, SMILE!: At the Tanabata Festival with Anna

Indeed, finding the newness makes even the ordinary extraordinary. So, I say: Go ahead! Walk around in the new! :)

"Come On Shake Your Body, Baby...": Performers in the 5 hour Samba Carnival parade in Asakusa.