Sisters in Japan: My sister Richelle and me during her 10 day stay :)

(5 March 2011) How is it that my sister's visit has already come and gone?  She left Japan a week ago today!  That is unbelievable to me!
We really had the most wonderful time. I feel closer to my sister now (even with thousands of miles between us) than I have in years!  ...Is that a strange thing to say? 
...Well, my ideas about and my experience of "family" have changed a lot over the past 11 months, so it stands to reason that the way I express my feelings would undergo alteration as well.
There have been times since I've been here in Japan that I've had a very real sensation of being "alone."  ...I know, of course, that I am never "alone."  This leg of my journey is, in fact, a path lined with and shaped by deep friendships, trust, care, support, prayer, guidance, encouragement, and generosity.  I know that at any given moment, it is VERY possible that someone somewhere is thinking of me or praying for me--even someone I may know very casually or not at all!  How comforting that is and has been! :) 
Still, sometimes it is overwhelming to always feel like you have to check a map or ask for help, or to look around and see absolutely no one who shares your native language or even your skin color.  (It was a privilege of my race to feel in the past that such a thing didn't matter.  I now understand the often uncomfortable position of being a "minority.")  At times, I've shared with others-- with great passion and enthusiasm-- my thoughts about the world and the future and the nature of human interaction and the depth and possibility of sharing love and faith...(and so on and so on, as you can probably imagine)...only to discover that for any combination of reasons, I am unable to connect with the people around me.
This is, of course, only an occasional occurrence.  More often than not, I enjoy the independence of life in "a foreign land."  I like dancing along the line of succeeding at something new or completely losing my way.  I am frequently reminded that there is a greater purpose for my life, and that all the stirrings in my head--plans, doubts, excuses, judgments-- are nothing more than nonsense and distractions. 
And even MORE frequently, I am in awe of the things I'm learning about myself, about life, about diversity, and about family, through my interactions with people in Japan.
Lest this blog become some over-personalized sociology report, I'll refrain from elaborating.  I honestly thought I would write an amusing soliloquy detailing all the hilarity and heartwarmth of my sister's visit, but instead the focus has shifted to the EXPERIENCE of "family."
These days I take nothing for granted when it comes to the experience of family.  I recall the occasions too numerous to count where my brother and sister and I have laughed ourselves breathless.  I think about the softness of my Grandma Pottorff's skin or the way my Grandma White pieced together words to make such sweet stories.  I remember lying limply in my mother's arms too sick to move.  I remember staying up late poking needles through bugs in the felt-lined case my dad made me for my insect collection for school.  I remember reunions and holidays...and funerals.  I remember pets and cousins and silly games.  I really can't think of anything more precious...than family.


The Baby of the Family: With my mom at my graduation in 2008


When I was 20, a man who wouldn't tell me his name, gave a mechanic $250 to fix my car that had broken down on the side of the road.  When my mom was sick once, my friend Allison ran her fingers through my hair until the sun came up and I finally fell asleep.  When I've said I was hurting, friends have reached out to heal me.  When they've been hurt, friends have said, "I need you."  To be seen, to be heard, to be loved, to be helped, to be accepted:  In these ways and SO many more, I have felt and known "family."

That's What It's All About: Doing the hokey-pokey with my sister and my students

Last week, my sister and I found ourselves head-over-heels (and heels-over-head) on the 4th dimension roller coaster known as Eejanaika.  The design of this coaster is like none I'd ever experienced, allowing complete rotations of one's whole body in conjunction with multiple drops and loops!  As we coursed toward the first big plummet, lying there on our backs staring up at the blue skies over Mt. Fuji, I said, "WHAT have we gotten ourselves into?" and I meant it!  Without missing a beat, but somehow traveling back in time to 1988, my sister replied in perfect teen-speak, "This is SO dumb," and SHE meant it!  ...And then we did a front flip and fell 50 ft.  For several seconds, I screamed to myself (Is that an oxymoron?) "I'M OKAY! I'M OKAY! I'M OKAY!" and suddenly I realized...I was!  My screams turned to cackles and celebratory CHEERS, and when I peeked over at my sister, she was grinning in voiceless delight. :)
Afterward, I summed up my experience and my love for thrill rides by saying:
"I think I like roller coasters, because...it isn't life.  The route is determined, well-designed, and well-traveled.  My fear is unfounded because I am totally safe.  And if I hate it, if I really, really HATE it, then it doesn't matter much because it will be over soon, and I will never have to do such a thing ever again!"
I can't think of another example of something so instantly gratifying. ("I was afraid but I DID this!  I CONQUERED this!")
But moments after riding this, I was given the opportunity to ride any other ride in the park I wanted to before we left, but no one wanted to ride with me.  ...I would have to ride by myself.  I decided I too was ready to go--not because I feared riding alone, but because deep down I knew the joy I felt from overcoming my anxiety and accomplishing something challenging meant nothing to me without someone with whom to share it; without FAMILY.
And isn't that true of all our trials and successes?  It means more to me to laugh with my sister than to scream from the peak of Eejanaika all alone.  It means more to me to connect with others than to move down some perceived path toward some perceived destination...without them.  I've got nowhere to go...without love.

A family of friends: Richelle's Birthday Dinner in Tokyo

By the way, yesterday one of my students told me that the roller coaster's name, "Eejanaika" translates to "Everything's alright!" which is exactly what I told myself as I was riding it! ;)
And when I miss my sister and all of my family (and "family") back home, I can remember, that on this roller coaster of life there are many loops and drops and peaks, but eejanaika!

WHO Feels Blessed? (Me, that's WHO!)

If you would like to have regular updates about my life and work in Japan and even participate in an interactive Question and Answer activity with my students, please follow my RheAnn in Japan page on Facebook! :)
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Most of all, thank you for connecting your life with mine.