RheAnn in Japan

4:15PM Thursday March 17, 2011

(nearly 146 hours or 6+ days since the initial 9.0 mag earthquake)



For one who so recently issued a war cry of solidarity, I feel a bit embarrassed to share with you that for a list of reasons, the people who oversee my ministry here have decided I should plan to leave Japan for a while, just to be safe. So, I have a plane ticket and will hopefully head to the United States on Friday and return on April 8th or some time shortly thereafter.

Thankfully, my embarrassment is almost immediately diminished by determination. This unexpected direction is by no means a derailment of my ministry…or even a detour! No, it appears to me to be a wise precaution to ensure that my [already sensitive] body is not exposed to any abnormal levels of radiation so that I am able to CONTINUE the ministry in the near and distant future! What’s more, I will be able to touch base with all of the amazing people in the United States who have been aching for a way to help! I now feel like my role is to work to unite our efforts so that what we do and what we give is what’s most needed.

I am not a spokesperson for any organization or even for my friends living here and working in the relief efforts, though I am employed by the Missions Ministry Team of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church and fully support their unending efforts to raise and dispense funds to aid Japan.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog: If you would like to make a monetary donation to support upcoming work trips and various relief efforts, please earmark your contribution (made payable to “Missions Ministry Team”) “Japan Earthquake” and send it to:


Missions Ministry Team
2807 Traditional Place
Cordova, TN 38016-7414

Or visit the Missions Ministry Team website to make your [secure and tax deductible] donation online. (Be sure to specify that your donation is intended for use by Japan Presbytery’s tsunami relief support by typing “Japan Earthquake” in the “Specific Giving Areas” line. You can select "Disaster Relief Fund" from the pull down menu for "General Areas of Giving.")

That said, here is my message to all of YOU:

• Prepare: I am coming home and I want to acknowledge the hurt and helplessness you have all felt as you’ve watched the situation here in Japan unfold and I want to honor the swelling need within you to extend yourself to the people of this peaceful nation. Many have asked me, “RheAnn, what can I do?” and my delay in replying has been because even though I am RIGHT HERE…I have no idea! This level of devastation is unheard of and every day things grow more critical and more confusing. As caring and helpful people who long to support the relief efforts here in any way possible, I urge you to take a cue from the people of Japan and wait. The damages and needs are being assessed and as of now, it is still nearly impossible to get aid to many of the shelters. It is important to remember too that a disaster of this magnitude will take YEARS to overcome, and the Japanese will need many things later that we cannot anticipate now. We don’t want to spend our time, money, and energy on things that won’t be of immediate or ongoing use. When I am briefed by my contacts in Japan or through my missions organization, I will update you. In the mean time, I want to encourage you to consider every imaginable way that you can personally give of your time, talents, care, and money to assist with the great and growing need here. BE CREATIVE, BE COMPASSIONATE, AND BE GENEROUS!! Through my organization and through my own personal means, I will do everything in my power to support you in the ways you are being called to act, whatever they may be. I would request, however, that you check with me before you organize your efforts, so that I can make certain that you have the best information and the most consistent goals. (For instance, you might not want to plan a blanket drive at this stage because there is currently no way to get blankets to the area(s) except through an established and organized system that will take great planning to navigate.) I feel blessed to know (and know of) so many gracious and caring people and to be placed in the unique position to link the needs and ideas with the volunteers to accomplish them.

• Communicate: Talk to me, talk to the Missions Ministry Team, talk to each other about how you can best be of use. Work together.  Comfort one another.  What is in your heart? Maybe what you are feeling is similar to what someone else is feeling. Maybe a question you have can be matched with someone who has an answer. If you think it or feel it, say it. Even if I can’t reply to everyone personally or immediately, I will be spending my 3 weeks in the US attempting to coordinate, encourage, and support all of your efforts on behalf of Japan. I know it is important to you to feel that you are connected to the people here in Japan even though you’re far away. I KNOW that you wish that you could ease their worry and suffering. We will all work together to do what we can, and I will do my best to help you help Japan—not only as a missionary, but also as one with many deep connections to these people and this place. Each of us has been prepared by our life experiences to do SOMETHING to help our fellow humans, and in this time of crisis, it is crucial that we commit to discovering exactly what that is.  I feel blessed to be a point of contact and assurance for you AND the people of Japan.

Regarding my personal situation and condition, I need to say that I plan to work very hard while I am home and after I return, so I apologize to friends and family members with whom I may not get to spend time. I also anticipate that my return to the US will be an emotional one. Anyone who lives away from their home country for an extended period experiences some discomfort or “reverse culture shock,” as it’s called, upon a return of any length. Because I am leaving Japan under a particularly extreme set of conditions, I suspect that I will be filled with concern for those I’ve left behind. I’m sure I will at times become overwhelmed by what appears to me to be abundance and oblivion among some Americans in the face of such devastation and sorrow in this place. I may not be as happy to be home as I imagined I would be or as you would like to see me be. But I will be grateful. Please understand.

Everything in my life and the way I live it has been forever changed. I am trusting myself more and more to do what God is asking me to do, though as a good friend recently reminded me: “God will accomplish what God will accomplish. God wants us all, but God doesn't need any of us.”

So true.

Eight days ago, a small earthquake shook my apartment in the wee hours of the morning and I felt tremendous panic during and immediately after this. 36 hours later, we were hit by a 9.0 Mag quake that became the impetus for an ongoing series of disasters. “Panic” doesn’t begin to encompass my ever-changing feelings. With aftershocks continuing with surprising regularity, it is safe to say that I have grown more calm. Yesterday I tried to sleep after over a day of being awake and as soon as I laid down, a 6.0 earthquake hit. I just opened my window then stayed in my bed until it was over. Last night, a similar quake hit and I opened my back door but kept eating my dinner of raw broccoli and mayo. My threshold has increased.

As you probably have learned, Japan uses a separate system of measurement for earthquakes—it’s an experiential scale that is based on intensity. Here is the description of it:

Seismic intensity scale - measure of tremors


At an intensity of 4 or more, objects can fall, and people should take action to protect their safety.


Seismic intensity & Status


Seismic intensity 0 Tremors cannot be felt.


Seismic intensity 1 A few people indoors feel a slight tremor.


Seismic intensity 2 Many people indoors feel a tremor. The tremor wakes up a few people who were asleep.


Seismic intensity 3 Almost all people indoors feel a tremor, and some of them become afraid.


Seismic intensity 4 People feel moderate fear, and some of them take action for their safety.


The tremor wakes up almost all people who were asleep.


Seismic intensity 5 (lower end) Many people take action for their safety, and some of them find it difficult to do so.


Seismic intensity 5 (higher end) People feel acute fear, and many of them find it difficult to act.


Seismic intensity 6 (lower end) It is difficult to stand.


Seismic intensity 6 (higher end) People cannot stand, and can move only by crawling.


Seismic intensity 7 People are at the mercy of the tremor and cannot move about as they wish.


I am now capable of determining the seismic intensity based on what I experience and how much my ceiling light moves. Obviously, Friday’s quake was ranked as a 7. A few of the aftershocks have measured at high 5’s, but most are in the 3-4 range.  The deteriorating scene at the power plant compounds the situation here considerably.

If such a scale existed for emotional intensity, I’d say most people here and I’m sure even some of you are operating at about a 7. I hope that the intensity of our compassion and willingness to help will be off the charts.

God bless you and as one of my students just wrote to me:  Pray for Japan.

6:30 PM March 15, 2011

(nearly 4 days and 4 hours since the initial 9.0 mag earthquake)

First, let me apologize for the delay in writing and posting this update.  I received an e-mail from my doctor saying that those of us who are not heading south should, in addition to the directives issued by the authorities, be eating 1 gram of tororo or kanso konbu each day to counter the potential effects of the POTENTIAL radiation exposure.  Sooo...I had to make a quick trip to the small, natural market to procure these and other items.  I also have been in contact with friends and family members, considering some big decisions that must be made in light of the ongoing disaster we now face.

Obviously, the situation at hand is very complex.  I hope you'll allow me to process it here.

I remember growing up in Millington, TN, half a block from the corner where the fire station, city hall, and library were located.  When a tornado was spotted in the area, a notification siren atop one of these buildings sounded to alert everyone in town to take cover.  Being so close, it was especially loud, and I remember many evenings spent in the hallway to that soundtrack with my mom and dad and a stack of pillows, and my dad saying reassuringly, "We're in this thing together."  Somehow that was consolation enough to allow me to ignore my feelings of impending doom.

So this is what I'm telling myself and this is what I'm saying to Japan:  WE ARE IN THIS THING TOGETHER!

Today, I invited myself to my Japanese parents Ushioda-sensei and Hideko-san's house and they, of course, welcomed me with a delicious (cooked!) lunch and all the English news I could tolerate.  It was good for me not to be alone and to have up-to-minute information.  But even finally understanding what was being said did not diminish my confusion and concern about a situation that seems to be worsening.

The Japanese government has officially released a number of confirmed deaths according to NHK news.  This number of 2,600 is by any standards, a conservative one considering 17,000 are unaccounted for.  Images of cities and villages completely washed away and shelters full of people facing shortages of food, water, medicine, and warmth flooded my heart with pure sorrow.  A man searching for relatives in Miyagi prefecture explained that they had reason to believe some people were inside the 2nd floor of a condo--a building they could see but not reach because of the standing water, too full of debris to be navigated by boat and too deep and dangerous to enter without one.  His face showed the helplessness I (and sooooo many others) are feeling inside.  Can you imagine how frustrating that would be??

It is my nature to seek some silver lining within even a situation as grotesque and unimaginable as this one--not to escape the sadness, but to appreciate even the tiniest of blessings.  I remember in America in the days and weeks following Hurricane Katrina that extreme heat caused many people to die from dehydration and bodies lost in the flood waters to rapidly decay.  This caused the water itself (already filled with chemicals and debris) to become immediately toxic--"TFW" or "Toxic Flood Water," it was called.  If there can be a "silver lining" to what the thousands of displaced individuals and families in Japan are experiencing, perhaps it is this:  Temperatures will not be so low that people could actually freeze nor will they be so high that people will have to face the same conditions as the victims in the Gulf Coast region back in 2005.  I hope this is true, as slight of a glimmer as it may be. :(

And as if things weren't awful enough...as if the largest natural disaster in Japanese history weren't staggering enough (!!!!)...We have the ongoing threat of a complete nuclear crisis at the power plant in Fukushima.

This afternoon, in two separate press conferences, Japan's Chief Cabinet Secretary Yukio Edano and Prime Minister Naoto Kan addressed the nation's growing concerns.  Please do not mistake the following paragraphs (or anything I write in this blog, for that matter) to be in anyway representative of journalism--merely my opinions and reflections on things as they are or as I understand them to be.  (Since I started writing this, conditions have improved remarkably, so there IS a silver lining here!!)

From the translation of Chief Edano's conference this afternoon, I gleaned the following (with my paranoid ramblings in italics):

• As of 3:30 this afternoon, radiation levels in Tokyo were 22 x the normal amount.  Edano stressed that this was not a dangerous level and should not concern people in this area.  He did not address, however, how extended exposure to this level might impact one's health.  Tokyo is around 300 km away from Fukushima.
• In Tokai, 110 km south of the plant, levels of radiation were 40 x higher than normal.
• Nevertheless, the only current evacuations remain in the area within a 20 km radius of the plant.
• People who live within 20-30 km of the plant who've not already evacuated are asked not to do so because the levels of radiation are a "minor" concern and there is no fuel in the area to facilitate a successful evacuation by car.  Instead, people in this region should stay indoors with no ventilation.
• At 4:15 (during the press conference, now 3 hours ago), winds were of a westward direction.  This is absolutely not desirable.  Rain (and snow in the North) are expected, and this too is undesirable.
• As I mentioned, it is hard if not impossible for relief workers to reach some of the survivors, but unfortunately a no-fly zone has been issued because of the radiation--which contains iodine and rare gases.
• Edano revealed that following the 3rd explosion this morning, levels at the front gate of the plant were reported at 11,930 millisievert per hour, which exceeds the total most people are exposed to in an entire year.  By 3:30, however, this figure had dropped to 596.4. (This figure steadily decreases as the evening wears on! What a relief!)
• According to Edano, 500 millisievert per hour is a dangerous level of exposure and could cause a decrease in white blood cells among other symptoms and damage.  (By comparison, the current rates in Tokyo are 0.89 and the rates in Tokai are 5.0.) (These rates have returned nearly to normal at this time.)
• Though the fire in reactor #4 has been controlled, Edano said there may be constant emission from this reactor.  When questioned further, he said "no new figures" existed at the time.  Okay.  This is where I begin to feel slightly mistrustful, as though something is being downplayed or concealed. :(
• A reporter asked if the rods in #s 1 and 3 are still exposed.  Edano replied that this was "not definite," but that the water supply is now stable.  "No figures?" "Not definite?"  This does not instill confidence.  It makes it appear that the person meant to oversee the efforts to control this crisis either A. Doesn't know what he's doing, or B. Isn't being 100% forthright.  It's like when you say to someone, "You didn't notice my new haircut!" and they say, "Yes, I did."   ...And??  It's THAT they don't say that allows you to imagine WHAT they didn't say.  And it was the sweat that formed on Chief Edano's brow as he batted away detailed questions with vague answer upon vague answer that leaves me thinking..."he noticed my haircut, but didn't like it." (Since the press conference, levels have steadily decreased.  This is EXCELLENT news and I hope the good news continues regarding the following points from the conference.)
• Edano then commented on reactors 5 and 6, saying temperatures were rising in both and that preventative measures were being taken.
• Finally, Edano explained that the evacuation orders issued by the Prime Minister were based on the existing law.  My concern here is that this is a situation unlike any anyone anywhere has ever faced.  I'm fairly certain there is no law that was written that could possibly have foreseen the magnitude of potential disaster this nation faces if these reactors are not cooled and completely controlled.  It is possible that measures beyond those outlined by law may be in order if 5 and 6 aren't cooled or 1 and 3 reheat.  I sort of feel like...Let's go ahead and do some precautionary, regulated evacuations NOW in order to avoid a panicked mass exodus later...

I'm trying hard to determine what among my thoughts, feelings, and reactions is based on the confusion of the cumulative events of these recent days (and the fact that I don't have access to up-to-the-minute English news and that I live all alone in a country that is still rather new to me) and what is just being practical.  I have (and always have had) a very strong intuition, as my mother and others can attest.  I just don't want to overreact.  I just don't want to make a bad choice.

I watch the people of Japan.  Everyone seems to be concerned but all-out panic has been avoided.  Everyone here seems to possess a genuine trust of their government officials and are not worried because they're told there's no need to worry.  ...And ::deep breath:: right now, that is true.  We are FINE!  Right now, there is no need to worry.  But the rooftop siren is going off in my gut and I can't just sit idly by.

The faith that people here have instilled in the people in charge is really inspirational and I've decided I should put just as much if not more faith in God.  That doesn't mean I'm going to twiddle my thumbs and wait for things to get better or worse, nor does it mean I'm going to catch the next plane to the U.S.  It means I'm going to gather up the pillows and hit the hallway, just in case.  If my dad were here, he'd say, "Pack your bag!  It's better to be safe than sorry."  And that's what I'll do.  I'll pack a suitcase with a few days of clothes and necessary items, including allergy-friendly foods and my newly purchased kambu, so that if the situation worsens and someone says, "Let's go," I'm not frantically trying to ready myself.  Once my bag is packed, I'll stay indoors until it's certain that it's safe to emerge.

On the other hand, I cannot completely rule out a return to the States...and so I'm looking for wisdom and calm and guidance as I move forward.  Of course, I want to be here.  This is where I belong...but it is possible too that I can work hard in the U.S. to coordinate support for our relief efforts and come back strong when the threat of more earthquakes and radiation poisoning have dissipated.

Now I'm sweating.

(completed at 8:52 PM)

Time to switch back to positive thinking.

9:45 AM March 15, 2011

(87 hours/ 3.5+ days since the initial 9.0 mag earthquake)

What do I know?  What has changed?  Only everything.  Only nothing at all.

The trash collectors came on time today.  The children playing in the apartment above mine scurried out onto their balcony and called to them in sing-song voices, "Bye-byeee!  Bye-byeee!"  It is nice to hear their laughter and to remember a time in life when I and all the "grown-ups" around me weren't juggling hope and fear like it's our full-time job.

Yesterday, I heeded advice (both by choice and necessity) to stay home.  The train lines surrounding my area were--and still are--not running, and trains throughout the Tokyo-Yokohama region are running on limited schedules.  Of course, this made for a more chaotic Monday than most as people tried to get to and from work in, this, the largest metropolis in the world.

The reduction of running trains and the accompanying mandatory conservation of electricity have served as more than an inconvenience, though.  My impression is that we are all dealing with this without much complaint because it feels like the only way we can "help."  To make do with little or no electricity or to have to walk places or change plans feels minor compared to the experience of thousands of others in the North--the images of whom Western media is no doubt inundated.  I think, too, these conditions are positioning us to appreciate things we'd previously taken for granted and to mindfully make changes in our eating and in our lifestyles.

Personally, I couldn't bring myself to eat for most of the day yesterday.  In part, this was because I felt like fasting in solidarity with all of the folks in shelters who are, no doubt, getting by with very little food, and in part, because I worried about my own rations and felt the need to make what food I had last as long as possible.  Finally in the late afternoon, I decided to head to the grocery store to stock up on supplies.  My goal was to get items that need not be refrigerated or cooked since power cuts are expected to occur any day now and could last as long as August.  (Also, I am absolutely still too afraid to use my gas stove because of the aftershocks.)  Though many of the shelves in my neighborhood's largest market were COMPLETELY bare, I was able to purchase 2 full eco-bags of food and supplies.  (Toilet paper, water, and batteries were also on my list, but were regrettably sold out at the 3 stores I visited.)

When I first stepped out of my apartment to go to the store, I saw my neighbor to the left.  He lit up when he saw me and said, "Konnichiwa!"  ...I am not exaggerating when I say, this is the first time he's ever spoken to me.  Around the corner, another neighbor greeted me enthusiastically, and along the walk to the market, many people acknowledged me with a nod or small smile.  Something has changed between us all, and I won't even try to put it into words.  I suppose it is proof, though, that regardless of location or culture, tragedy brings humans together.  I found it to be very moving.  ...I walk this same street every day, but yesterday, it was a different street.

On the way back home, I passed a realty sign beside a small apartment building.  I noticed that someone had pressed their chewing gum onto the eye of the agent's photo.  I imagined the moment that this had occurred and how the person who put this gum there probably thought how funny it was...but probably felt a little bit bad about it at the same time.  And then I thought about how many moments like that the victims of the tsunami must have had in their lifetimes.  So many moments.  Simple little moments.

Now we know that there will be more aftershocks and today local officials finally announced what I've heard rumored for 2 days:

"Strong aftershocks may cause tsunami" (from Kyodo news)

Aftershocks continue from Friday's massive quake in northeast Japan. The Meteorological Agency has warned that strong aftershocks could trigger more tsunami.

The magnitude 9 earthquake on March 11th triggered major tsunami, mainly along the Pacific northeast coast.

The agency says about 200 aftershocks measuring magnitude 5 or more have occurred. Tremors with an intensity of 4 or higher on the Japanese scale of zero to 7 reached 50 from Friday through Monday.

It warns that strong aftershocks are highly likely and that a quake with an intensity of 6 could hit, possibly generating tsunami.

And with dueling reports about the future of the nuclear reactors in Fukushima and the potential impact of radiation leaked and leaking from that site, it is very difficult to maintain hope OR to make good decisions about one's own safety.

I've asked a few people for their thoughts and advice about the situation...because I don't want to be foolishly sitting here if I am in danger and could conceivably move to safety and come back to help when things are more stable.  In fact, I asked two of the people I trust the most.  One said he doesn't think it will get bad enough that I will need to evacuate...and one said to get as far away from the nuclear power plant as possible.

Hmm.

I think I'll stay.  At least, that is my decision for now.  When I got my iPhone a few days after arriving here last April, the staffperson overseeing the purchase asked me to choose the last 4 digits of my own phone number.  I chose 2-0-1-3.  My commitment to be in Japan was through 2013, and so long as the government here provides as honest and protective advice and information as possible, I will continue to do as they suggest.  I will stay put.

I feel I'd rather be subjected to this confusion and to these aftershocks and to whatever my future here may hold than to needlessly abandon the people I came to serve.

I just have to keep believing there is a Higher Power at work here and open and ready myself to be of use.

Strength:  I recently read this quote, “A strong woman knows she has strength enough for her journey, but a woman of strength knows that it is in her journey where she will become strong”.

Please continue your prayers and support of the people in Japan, and please forgive me for being so self-centered in this blog entry.  Like everyone here, I am swollen with grief and worry...but I can't speak for everyone here...

11:30PM March 13, 2011


(nearly 57 hours since the initial 8.9 mag earthquake)

Plans to assist our neighbors affected by the tsunami are underway through my missions’ organization and the Cumberland Presbyterian Church/Japan Presbytery. If you would like to make a monetary donation to support upcoming work trips and various relief efforts, please earmark your contribution (made payable to “Missions Ministry Team”) “Japan Earthquake” and send it to:

Missions Ministry Team
2807 Traditional Place
Cordova, TN 38016-7414

Or visit the Missions Ministry Team website to make your [secure and tax deductible] donation online. (Be sure to specify that your donation is intended for use by Japan Presbytery’s tsunami relief support by typing “Japan Earthquake” in the “Specific Giving Areas” line.  You can select "Disaster Relief Fund" from the pull down menu for "General Areas of Giving.")

Another great option to support current and ongoing relief is through Jhelp. (I’ve taken this information from their website, which you can visit here.)

The Japan Emergency team is working in disaster shelters and proceeding to Northern Japan.

For information on family members team@jhelp.com.

The Japan Emergency Team is working on site near Sendai, delivering disaster supplies and assisting on site after the 8.9 Magnitude earthquake.

Volunteers able to reach the area are much needed. (From RheAnn: They are asking for people to work WITH them. Please contact Jhelp directly!)

Sendai, Japan
The Japan Emergency Team announces arrival of team in the Sendai area bringing emergency supplies and assisting on site with direct disaster assistance, distribution of supplies and assistance to survivors.


Supplies needed include canned and instant food, bottled water, sleeping bags, tents, powdered milk, home medical kits. (From RheAnn: If you discover that shipping is too expensive, consider donating money to The Cumberland Presbyterian Church—details above—so Japan Presbytery can purchase and deliver those items here. I will also be looking into arranging affordable shipping...)

Those able to assist with supplies and assist on site are asked to contact www.jhelp.com.

Donations may be made to:

Post Office Furikae 00160 7 162438 Nihon Kinkyu Enjotai



Or Donate Online through Paypal. (Let me know if this link doesn't work for you.)


The team can be reached at Country Code :

81 3 5780 1111
81 90 7170 4769
81 90 3080 6711 

In Japan at :

03 5780 1111 
0570 000 911

Supplies can be sent to:

Operation Japan
Box 65
Tokyo, Japan 106-8691

Those able to donate airline mileage for team members, volunteers ボランティア able to assist on site can contact team@jhelp.com

If you have any questions about ANY of this, e-mail me at rheann.in.japan@gmail.com. I may not be able to answer the question(s), but I can certainly try to direct you to someone who can. If you are supporting other organizations, GREAT!! I just wanted to present a couple of options that I feel are very reliable.

I plan to participate in whatever the church members here decide to do. As I said before, without strong language skills or transportation, I would merely hinder relief efforts at this stage. I have contacted a few different organizations to offer my home to a displaced individual or family. I will let you know if I am asked to host someone.

In the meantime, so long as I am able, I will continue teaching my classes. I'm praying for wisdom and clarity.  It's hard to imagine talking about grammar and pronunciation... Maybe I should remain flexible, for what my job has been may not be what it will become.

Tomorrow (and indefinitely) I could be without power for much of the day and night, so I will not be posting blogs. If something critical occurs, I will update through my RheAnn in Japan Facebook page or as a comment to this blog entry, so please check one of those places.

Continue in prayer and practice…as one.

Stillness: I took this photo the day before the disaster.

3:45 PM March 13, 2011
(49 hours after the initial 8.9 mag earthquake)

As reports from relief agencies begin to roll in and the number of people lost to this disaster steadily grows, the eyes and hearts of Japan remain on that region, especially in light of the potential nuclear crisis at the power plant in Fukushima.

The ground beneath us remains unsteady as aftershocks continue.  (Today only one aftershock has moved my ceiling light...and only causing the pull switch to swing, so a definite improvement!)

I want to share with you some things that have comforted me today.

First, this message from Arase-sensei in response to my questions about upcoming plans for assistance by our church members and leaders:

RheAnn, I will certainly inform you if any plan of organizing volunteer relief team is made. It's not time yet for non professionals like us to go to the damaged area. But the time will soon come for us to go. I can imagine how frustrating and scary it could be when the language is not understood. I will try to include English translation when important message is shared here.

Second, this video I made the night before the quake and tsunami as part of my 40 Days of Creation Lenten Project.  I'm attempting to spend one purposeful day in nature each day during Lent.  I will post a blog soon about this practice.


Finally, this prayer written by Satoh-sensei (who is away from his home country) living and working in Lexington, KY:

Mighty creator of Ocean, Sky and Mt. Fuji. We saw your sacred authority in the nature.
Your people were washed away and devastated in the grimy land.
They are threatened by the energy that they produced.
Spread the seeds of new life again down upon your children so that they can find their way into the life-sustaing soil.
Be with us so that again we can hear the spring wind brewing and waving bamboo trees.
Send your Spirit above your children that they might find healing in your presence.
Be with us so that we can smell cherry blossoms and chrysanthemums soon as we walk together.
Show the way then we can work together and share our talents with others.
Lord, stay with them and heal the land.

In the name of Iesu Kirisuto, Amen

Amen.

.

1:45 AM March 13, 2011

(35 hours since the initial 8.9 mag earthquake)

My current location is approximately 330 kilometers from the epicenter of Friday afternoon's earthquake.  (That is roughly the distance between Nashville and Memphis.)  I am not in any warning zones for hazardous radiation leakage or potential future tsunamis.

Just as in America, when faced with potentially being stranded, Japanese make a run for bread and milk (and tofu and noodle bowls and other prepared food items.) Most of us here use gas to cook and that is incredibly dangerous during an earthquake or aftershock.

During the day Saturday, the Yokohama area experienced quite a few very small aftershocks and 2 rather noticeable ones.  Nothing on Saturday was remotely CLOSE to anything we experienced here on Friday.  In fact, the day was rather uneventful, so to speak...

I've tuned in to Japanese news and BBC World news in alternation.  I can't understand much of what is being said in Japanese, but feel like I would be alerted to immediate danger more quickly through that avenue than through BBC.

Well...I'm not exactly sure of that, actually.  There is a VERY distinct difference between Japanese and Western cultures when it comes to journalism, I've noticed.  In Japan, the approach to reporting is, "Stay calm.  Everything will be fine," while in the US and in the BBC coverage of this tsunami, the focus is more dramatic.  "LOOK at this destruction!"  "MARVEL at this death toll!"  "WORRY about future danger!"

In Japan, we hear "Just wait and see," while in America, we're conditioned to "Fix!"  We see people hurting and we went to help.  NOW!

These two ways of thinking and being are conflicted within me each and every moment, resulting in something more like paralysis.  This paralysis should not be mistaken for uselessness however.  I am DEEP in prayer, and nearly constantly.

I respect Japanese culture so very much and the idea of "calm" really appeals to me.  The American in me, though, wants to multitask.  "OK, so what can we do WHILE we're waiting?"

Church leaders and members here in Japan Presbytery will organize some kind of response and relief soon and I hope to link their efforts to any and all of my supporters who seek to be of assistance to Japan in the wake of this unprecedented disaster.  (Trust me.  I WILL update you.)

But like everyone else, I'm suspended in a state of inaction--praying and waiting, trying to make sense of all that has happened, preparing for what may lie ahead.

And tonight as I sat in meditation, something very alarming occurred to me--this idea of "calm"...this WORD "calm."  In my upbringing and through my education at Naropa University, I was encouraged to give voice to my thoughts and feelings and to bare my very soul to others and the needs of others.  To some, especially to some Japanese, I seem overly emotional and expressive at times (and maybe I am.)  But I have to tell you...my whole BODY is sore from what happened to it on Friday.  When I try to sleep, I frequently jerk and jolt, feeling like I'm falling or dreaming of being shaken or crushed.

An 8.9 earthquake is traumatic!
Watching video of people--your fellow country men and women--and cities--your homeland--being washed away is traumatic!
Enduring frequent aftershocks and living without the stability of your daily routine is traumatic!
Worrying that people and animals and the environment of your country may be forever impacted by a nuclear meltdown is traumatic!

Even as the stores reopen and some trains begin to resume their courses and life in much of Japan returns to "normal," people here are hurting.  On noticeable and subconscious levels, we are traumatized.

But the solution to this panic and pain is to "Stay calm."  What does that MEAN exactly?

I worry that people here will suppress and internalize their intense feelings in unhealthy ways.  In a nation whose suicide rate is staggering, the impact of this disaster may far outlast Western (AND local) media coverage and international interest.  I worry that depression ignited or inflamed by recent events will take root and grow out of control.

So along with my prayers for the people in Tohoku region and their families, and for government officials and relief workers and THEIR families, and for all the hardworking people who are striving to manage the situation at the nuclear reactor in Fukushima and THEIR families, and for the achy, shaky earth, I add hope for healing and comfort to any and all who are hurting because of this disaster--no matter how they were physically affected.

May this tragedy change us all, forever, and may we allow it.  THAT, I feel, would be true "calm."