6:30 PM March 15, 2011

(nearly 4 days and 4 hours since the initial 9.0 mag earthquake)

First, let me apologize for the delay in writing and posting this update.  I received an e-mail from my doctor saying that those of us who are not heading south should, in addition to the directives issued by the authorities, be eating 1 gram of tororo or kanso konbu each day to counter the potential effects of the POTENTIAL radiation exposure.  Sooo...I had to make a quick trip to the small, natural market to procure these and other items.  I also have been in contact with friends and family members, considering some big decisions that must be made in light of the ongoing disaster we now face.

Obviously, the situation at hand is very complex.  I hope you'll allow me to process it here.

I remember growing up in Millington, TN, half a block from the corner where the fire station, city hall, and library were located.  When a tornado was spotted in the area, a notification siren atop one of these buildings sounded to alert everyone in town to take cover.  Being so close, it was especially loud, and I remember many evenings spent in the hallway to that soundtrack with my mom and dad and a stack of pillows, and my dad saying reassuringly, "We're in this thing together."  Somehow that was consolation enough to allow me to ignore my feelings of impending doom.

So this is what I'm telling myself and this is what I'm saying to Japan:  WE ARE IN THIS THING TOGETHER!

Today, I invited myself to my Japanese parents Ushioda-sensei and Hideko-san's house and they, of course, welcomed me with a delicious (cooked!) lunch and all the English news I could tolerate.  It was good for me not to be alone and to have up-to-minute information.  But even finally understanding what was being said did not diminish my confusion and concern about a situation that seems to be worsening.

The Japanese government has officially released a number of confirmed deaths according to NHK news.  This number of 2,600 is by any standards, a conservative one considering 17,000 are unaccounted for.  Images of cities and villages completely washed away and shelters full of people facing shortages of food, water, medicine, and warmth flooded my heart with pure sorrow.  A man searching for relatives in Miyagi prefecture explained that they had reason to believe some people were inside the 2nd floor of a condo--a building they could see but not reach because of the standing water, too full of debris to be navigated by boat and too deep and dangerous to enter without one.  His face showed the helplessness I (and sooooo many others) are feeling inside.  Can you imagine how frustrating that would be??

It is my nature to seek some silver lining within even a situation as grotesque and unimaginable as this one--not to escape the sadness, but to appreciate even the tiniest of blessings.  I remember in America in the days and weeks following Hurricane Katrina that extreme heat caused many people to die from dehydration and bodies lost in the flood waters to rapidly decay.  This caused the water itself (already filled with chemicals and debris) to become immediately toxic--"TFW" or "Toxic Flood Water," it was called.  If there can be a "silver lining" to what the thousands of displaced individuals and families in Japan are experiencing, perhaps it is this:  Temperatures will not be so low that people could actually freeze nor will they be so high that people will have to face the same conditions as the victims in the Gulf Coast region back in 2005.  I hope this is true, as slight of a glimmer as it may be. :(

And as if things weren't awful enough...as if the largest natural disaster in Japanese history weren't staggering enough (!!!!)...We have the ongoing threat of a complete nuclear crisis at the power plant in Fukushima.

This afternoon, in two separate press conferences, Japan's Chief Cabinet Secretary Yukio Edano and Prime Minister Naoto Kan addressed the nation's growing concerns.  Please do not mistake the following paragraphs (or anything I write in this blog, for that matter) to be in anyway representative of journalism--merely my opinions and reflections on things as they are or as I understand them to be.  (Since I started writing this, conditions have improved remarkably, so there IS a silver lining here!!)

From the translation of Chief Edano's conference this afternoon, I gleaned the following (with my paranoid ramblings in italics):

• As of 3:30 this afternoon, radiation levels in Tokyo were 22 x the normal amount.  Edano stressed that this was not a dangerous level and should not concern people in this area.  He did not address, however, how extended exposure to this level might impact one's health.  Tokyo is around 300 km away from Fukushima.
• In Tokai, 110 km south of the plant, levels of radiation were 40 x higher than normal.
• Nevertheless, the only current evacuations remain in the area within a 20 km radius of the plant.
• People who live within 20-30 km of the plant who've not already evacuated are asked not to do so because the levels of radiation are a "minor" concern and there is no fuel in the area to facilitate a successful evacuation by car.  Instead, people in this region should stay indoors with no ventilation.
• At 4:15 (during the press conference, now 3 hours ago), winds were of a westward direction.  This is absolutely not desirable.  Rain (and snow in the North) are expected, and this too is undesirable.
• As I mentioned, it is hard if not impossible for relief workers to reach some of the survivors, but unfortunately a no-fly zone has been issued because of the radiation--which contains iodine and rare gases.
• Edano revealed that following the 3rd explosion this morning, levels at the front gate of the plant were reported at 11,930 millisievert per hour, which exceeds the total most people are exposed to in an entire year.  By 3:30, however, this figure had dropped to 596.4. (This figure steadily decreases as the evening wears on! What a relief!)
• According to Edano, 500 millisievert per hour is a dangerous level of exposure and could cause a decrease in white blood cells among other symptoms and damage.  (By comparison, the current rates in Tokyo are 0.89 and the rates in Tokai are 5.0.) (These rates have returned nearly to normal at this time.)
• Though the fire in reactor #4 has been controlled, Edano said there may be constant emission from this reactor.  When questioned further, he said "no new figures" existed at the time.  Okay.  This is where I begin to feel slightly mistrustful, as though something is being downplayed or concealed. :(
• A reporter asked if the rods in #s 1 and 3 are still exposed.  Edano replied that this was "not definite," but that the water supply is now stable.  "No figures?" "Not definite?"  This does not instill confidence.  It makes it appear that the person meant to oversee the efforts to control this crisis either A. Doesn't know what he's doing, or B. Isn't being 100% forthright.  It's like when you say to someone, "You didn't notice my new haircut!" and they say, "Yes, I did."   ...And??  It's THAT they don't say that allows you to imagine WHAT they didn't say.  And it was the sweat that formed on Chief Edano's brow as he batted away detailed questions with vague answer upon vague answer that leaves me thinking..."he noticed my haircut, but didn't like it." (Since the press conference, levels have steadily decreased.  This is EXCELLENT news and I hope the good news continues regarding the following points from the conference.)
• Edano then commented on reactors 5 and 6, saying temperatures were rising in both and that preventative measures were being taken.
• Finally, Edano explained that the evacuation orders issued by the Prime Minister were based on the existing law.  My concern here is that this is a situation unlike any anyone anywhere has ever faced.  I'm fairly certain there is no law that was written that could possibly have foreseen the magnitude of potential disaster this nation faces if these reactors are not cooled and completely controlled.  It is possible that measures beyond those outlined by law may be in order if 5 and 6 aren't cooled or 1 and 3 reheat.  I sort of feel like...Let's go ahead and do some precautionary, regulated evacuations NOW in order to avoid a panicked mass exodus later...

I'm trying hard to determine what among my thoughts, feelings, and reactions is based on the confusion of the cumulative events of these recent days (and the fact that I don't have access to up-to-the-minute English news and that I live all alone in a country that is still rather new to me) and what is just being practical.  I have (and always have had) a very strong intuition, as my mother and others can attest.  I just don't want to overreact.  I just don't want to make a bad choice.

I watch the people of Japan.  Everyone seems to be concerned but all-out panic has been avoided.  Everyone here seems to possess a genuine trust of their government officials and are not worried because they're told there's no need to worry.  ...And ::deep breath:: right now, that is true.  We are FINE!  Right now, there is no need to worry.  But the rooftop siren is going off in my gut and I can't just sit idly by.

The faith that people here have instilled in the people in charge is really inspirational and I've decided I should put just as much if not more faith in God.  That doesn't mean I'm going to twiddle my thumbs and wait for things to get better or worse, nor does it mean I'm going to catch the next plane to the U.S.  It means I'm going to gather up the pillows and hit the hallway, just in case.  If my dad were here, he'd say, "Pack your bag!  It's better to be safe than sorry."  And that's what I'll do.  I'll pack a suitcase with a few days of clothes and necessary items, including allergy-friendly foods and my newly purchased kambu, so that if the situation worsens and someone says, "Let's go," I'm not frantically trying to ready myself.  Once my bag is packed, I'll stay indoors until it's certain that it's safe to emerge.

On the other hand, I cannot completely rule out a return to the States...and so I'm looking for wisdom and calm and guidance as I move forward.  Of course, I want to be here.  This is where I belong...but it is possible too that I can work hard in the U.S. to coordinate support for our relief efforts and come back strong when the threat of more earthquakes and radiation poisoning have dissipated.

Now I'm sweating.

(completed at 8:52 PM)

Time to switch back to positive thinking.